Constant Commentary

We have an exciting new trip on the very distant horizon.  We are all super excited about it!!  And then..... WA WA WAAAAA I start researching our little mini-trip adventures and one of the ones that I am most excited about has a weight limit.  And I am 50 pounds over.  That is a lot of weight to lose.  FORTUNATELY, I have eleven months to do it.  UNFORTUNATELY, based on past experience, I lack confidence that I can do this. I took the weekend to wallow in self-pity.  Then we went for a walk in the city forest, and I realized just how out-of-shape I am, and so then I wallowed in self-pity some more.  Not quite done with the wallowing, but tomorrow I plan to SPRING out of bed and get a good walk in before work.  Putting couch25k on the back-burner for now and am just going to walk walk walk walk walk walk........ 50 pounds to go......

I haz em.  Mother Nature does not. I want to plant some herbs and stuff this year.  I say this every year, but this time I mean it, damnit. We don't have a lot of space in the sunshine, but I think we have just enough to do one of those cute Pinterest-y container gardens. I want to get outside and work towards running goals again. (Just not enough to bundle up and feel my snot freeze,)  It's 32 freaking degrees out today.  And windy.  And blustery.  I HATE THAT! I want to jump out of the bed on the weekends excited because Lonnie and I have adventures planned!  The kind of adventures that don't involve mittens or frostbite. I want to do a cool thing like take my schoolwork out to a park and study under a tree.  (LOL I  will NEVER do that!)  I guarantee if that happens I WILL find a way to selfie that shit ;-)

I love sleeping.  So.  So. Much.  However, this is the time of year every year (Which I didn't even realize until a blog reader noticed a trend a few years ago in my posts as years went on!), I get a case of the winter blues.... cabin fever.... whatever you want to call it. I usually combat my malaise with a vacation to someplace sunny and warm.  This year, I let Lonnie talk me into vacationing much earlier than usual, bringing us back to Maine with lots more winter left.  This has been a VERY mild, and non-snowy winter, but it's still winter.  I still don't want to go outside for a walk or a run, we aren't going out hiking and fishing and stuff on the weekends, and there is not a lot else to do around here other than shopping and the movies. So I have been sleeping.  A LOT.  My main excuse that I use is, "I sleep late because my job keeps me up late and messes up my sleep schedule."   Which is true sometimes.  But not every day...

Remember when I said that when coming back from vacation it would be hard to get back "on it."  Holy Shit-- has is ever!?? I'm a mess. I can blame that I just started grad school. I can blame that my work schedule has just changed. I can blame... well... it's winter.... it's this... it's that..... blah blah blah None of those excuses are actual things that have prevented me from eating well.  None of them.  What HAS prevented me from eating well.  I don't want to.  I don't feel like it. I don't want to plan.  I don't want o grocery shop I feel gross.  I feel bloaty and fat and my clothes feel tight.  Lonnie has gained weight too, and because he only gains weight in his belly, it shows quickly and makes him feel gross.  We need to get our shit together.  ASAP. How do you get that driven feeling back once it disappears!!??  I don't even want to grocery shop for the "good healthy foods" because well.... probably because part of me kn...

Today as I slid on my jeans for work...  I was actually planning on probably having to slide them back off again because they were too tight.   NOPE!  If anything,  they were looser!  As planned,  while in Mexico,  I ate and drank everything I wanted to.  Fortunately,  that is a LOT of great fresh Mexican food!  I never really eat junk food in Mexico because it's all just weird stuff.   Even if I am feeling snacky,  and go into a corner store,  I almost always come out empty handed because 1. I don't know what anything is and 2. None of it looks appetizing to me.  My downfall was traveling home.  I am VERY CAREFUL about what I eat around plane trips for fear of a repeat of the puking incident,  but once we got back in Boston ...and ended up stranded there for 2 days (thank you American Airlines for losing the one bag with our car keys in it).  I must admit,  all bets were off....

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed. Things that have not changed.... I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....) I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them. I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all. I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to I still love Justin Bieber And One Direction. Things that HAVE changed.... I have LESS fat on my body. The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under. I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply. I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, ...

Winter Zombie It was a cold and blizzardy day yesterday. Got around 8 inches.... and it snowed too!! I never did make it to the gym.  Then I got called to do an awake overnight shift at the children's crisis unit.  UGH.  I did not bring any snacks with me as I was in a rush to get out the door, I probably couldn't have eaten anyway, overnight shifts when I have to stay awake all night make me sick to my stomach and get raging headaches. I DID make a responsible choice when I got home though and had a protein-filled small breakfast before hitting the sack. As I was only able to sleep til around noon, I skipped the gym again today as I am a bit on the zombie side.  I definitely could have gone.  But I didn't.  I just HATE going out in the cold, trudging through the snow, warming up the car, scraping the car, and then getting back into the freezing car after the gym.  I realize this is a ridiculous excuse. I DID, however, stick to watching the carbs and d...