Constant Commentary

So dusty.....  Time to clean it up and face reality.  Today I read a post on Emily Nolan's blog about her decision to lose weight.  This decision is huge because she is a large part of the 'body-acceptance-love-the-skin-you're-in' movement.  I don't know her entire life history or anything, but I think she is a plus-sized model.  (Ok... maybe my mind just has her grouped in with Ashley Graham, Danika Brysha and assume she is also a model? ...but I DO know that she was doing something with Lululemon at some point, so I think I am right. ---hey...there is no research team here at Constant Commentary!)   The backlash on these 'not size 0' ladies when they lose weight is absolutely disgusting , but.... I get it.  I would never SAY the horrible things that I see people say on their insta-blog-tweet-fbs, but I get it. As I read her post today, I was annoyed at her talking about her focus on the numbers on the scale and at the same time trying to sa...

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!! On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, "Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it."  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you. I had already been exercising, and trying (<--note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor...

This week's "selfie" that actually DOES illustrate something!     Plan:   Hop out of bed at 9am and go for a nice brisk hour-long walk with Luna Reality: Wake up at 9...ish.  Lay in bed until 10 frigging around with my tablet and waffling back-and-forth about whether or not to walk. "If I go at 930, I still have time to walk and get back to get ready for work at noon." "I could just start tomorrow."   "Even if I go at 10, I still have time."   "If I went at 10:30, I could still get in a half-hour walk.  Maybe I should start there anyway since I am so out-of-shape?" Sean no likey the selfies ;-) Then I thought about the last line of yesterday's blog.  "50 pounds to go!"  I don't want next Sunday's blog to still say, "50 pounds to go!"  So I JUMPED out of bed before I could change my mind again. THIS is why I blog. I was GREATLY rewarded for not being a lazy fat-ass.  Sean is on s...

We have an exciting new trip on the very distant horizon.  We are all super excited about it!!  And then..... WA WA WAAAAA I start researching our little mini-trip adventures and one of the ones that I am most excited about has a weight limit.  And I am 50 pounds over.  That is a lot of weight to lose.  FORTUNATELY, I have eleven months to do it.  UNFORTUNATELY, based on past experience, I lack confidence that I can do this. I took the weekend to wallow in self-pity.  Then we went for a walk in the city forest, and I realized just how out-of-shape I am, and so then I wallowed in self-pity some more.  Not quite done with the wallowing, but tomorrow I plan to SPRING out of bed and get a good walk in before work.  Putting couch25k on the back-burner for now and am just going to walk walk walk walk walk walk........ 50 pounds to go......

I have been doing lots of blogging over on my other blog.  I am using that other blog as a motivational journal to stay on track of eating healthy and exercising.  (Ok.... it hasn't worked so far to get me to exercise, but it will, I'm sure!!) http://colleenisonit.blogspot.com/ As I type this, I kind of wonder why I chose to separate out my never-ending-quest-to-be-less-fat from my blog of regular life....  I mean this IS my life.  I think it's because I am thinking of the other blog more like a journal and am really trying to blog daily and didn't want to bog down this blog with that minutia.  But that doesn't really make sense, does it? Now I am thinking about making tabs. Well, whatever I decide to do, if you would like to follow my current stand, click that picture up there!

When I wasn't working and doing fun stuff, I spent a good part of 2015 going back and forth about grad school.  I even applied to a couple.  But ultimately decided that I just don't feel right adding to my already enormously high student loan mountain of debt.  ...that is already growing since I am helping Jessi pay for college.... and interest of course.  I would love to get my Master's.  I LOVE school and I would also love to be more marketable once we starting planning our move from Maine, and I have the time for it with the job I have now.  So if I could just win the lottery......    I have few regrets in life as everything I have lived through has made me the bucket of awesomesauce that I am today,  but I definitely regret spending all that money and time going to Husson University to get my teaching credentials.  I could have my graduate degree, and instead I have nothing since I didn't finish the program by doing student ...

Boston aquarium and an excuse to show of my man's sexy arm ;-) It happens.  September arrived, and with it a flurry of activity and emotions.  We started our new fall work schedules (a new schedule that  I LOVE, but was a big change nonetheless), Jessi headed back to UMaine, Sean started 8th grade, Mom came for a surprise visit, we went on our long-awaited long weekend to Boston........ etc etc etc..... All were WONDERFUL excuses to not count points and stick to Weight Watchers.  I CAN proudly say that I have continued to exercise!  Yay me! But now I am at a crossroads of sorts.  I am not feeling WW at all.  I have considered going back to low-carb for awhile.  But honestly.... as of this moment.  I am just feeling sticking to exercise and trying to be more mindful about what I stuff in my face and why I am doing said stuffing. Speaking of WHY....  Nicole (bff) and I were talking about all my yearly autumn drama Nicole: Why AR...

Random web pic from https://energytalkradio.wordpress.com/ but it was this bright!  Last night on my way home from work, I saw the coolest falling star I have ever seen.  It was HUGE and super bright sailed across the sky for a LONG time.  It was way cool.  After I ooohed and ahhhhed to myself, I suddenly thought,  "Ooooohhhhh I am supposed to make a wish and this was such a neat star that it has to be a good one!!" .....and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything I would wish for!! Thoughts that crossed my mind.... Money:  Well yeah more could be fun, but we have to have to work to earn our fun stuff, which makes us appreciate it more!!  And frankly, rich people don't seem all that happy. And also... wishing for more just seems greedy since there are so many that have so little. Skinny!:  Meh.  Sure I want to lose weight, but I am working on it and I don't want a quick fix since I know that the problem is not my body, it'...

Usually when I have not blogged in a bit, it's because I have fallen off the wagon and just don't want to face that in font.  Today I come back to blogging after a little break still fully entrenched in my weight loss endeavor.  I have even started running again.  Lonnie and I are fast tracking ourselves through Couch to 5k.  We are and doing three run days in a row (which is week in the program), then taking a one day break, then starting another 3 days.  I assume we will hit a road block around week 5 or 6 where we will need to repeat some days, but maybe not!  It's going well, and even though we are in the midst of a stifling heat/humidity wave, I have been able to easily complete the run segments.  This is not to say I am skipping out there with a giant smile on my face though  ;-)    This summer has been a GIANT exercise in self-control and learning to find outlets for my emotions that don't involve snacks.   We ...

Still plugging along.  Can't say I am loving it.  And honestly, 3/4s of the time I don't feel like I am accomplishing anything at all.  Ok maybe half the time.  It's just happening soooo slowly and I don't feel like I am seeing the results that I should be since I have NEVER gone over my points for the week.  Ever. This is not to say I am working my butt off, because I am not.   I have not really been exercising very much.  Today I tried to jump back on the horse and took Luna for a nice longish walk.  Last week I challenged a friend to daily arm workouts, and I did it the day I initiated the challenge and that's it.  LOL Why don't I exercise?  Well...  here's my list of stupid excuses....  1. I am lazy. 2. It's summer and I would rather go to the beach. 3.  It's fucking hot and even more fucking humid and I hate that shit. 4.  Waiting for Lonnie to get home and then driving to the gym and working out an...

My life long enemy. I want it and I want it now and if I can't have it now that I don't fucking want it I want something else instead. Yes, I am a 2 year old pirate in a 41 year old body. I tend to embrace most of my "faults" and don't try to change them because they are part of who I am, and I like me!  But this one... this inability to wait for things... is something that I need to work on if I want to like me EVEN MORE! Weight Watchers has been a HUGE lesson in this.  Many days I feel like it is not working.  This is completely asinine as I have lost weight every week except one (and that one I can blame on hormones!).  This morning was my seventh weigh-in and as of today I have lost 14 pounds.  That is not, "not working."  That is 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I hate 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I like "GO GO GO aaaaaaannnnnnnd DONE!!!" Running... another lesson.  I love me some running.  I feel awesom...

Craig's Pond 7/12/15 It's no secret that I am counting the days until I from from Maine.  But sometimes... in the summer, and especially in the fall, I pre-maturely wax nostalgic about this place and it's beauty.   Especially now that I have a partner who loves to be out-and-about with me ad venturing and stuff! Peaks Kenny 7/11/15 Something you may not know..... I am a mermaid.  I could swim all day long, every day, and then go swim some more.  If the Ursula the Sea Witch offered Arielle and I a chance to swap lives,  I'm not sure I could refuse.  What's odd about my being a mermaid, is that while I am completely comfortable, and a strong swimmer even in the deepest of ocean, lake or pool waters, I am not good at it.  When I go to the pool to swim laps, I spend a LOT of time staring at the other lap swimmers with their perfect rhythmic breathing and steady pace and I have no id Playa Del Carmen March 2015 ea how to do this, despi...