Constant Commentary

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!! On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, "Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it."  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you. I had already been exercising, and trying (<--note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor...

My traditional post-run "collapsed on the stairs at the end" selfie (and my Ennelle Sports bra--if ya gots the big boobies like me, this bra will be your bff! It locks the girls down like there is a riot in cell block 8!) Listen.  I have started, stopped, finished, and quit C25k roughly 67 times over the past several years.  I now consider myself an expert. My biggest success in this program has been when I combine it with leg strength stuff on non-run days.  Right now I am doing t25 (and sometimes Jillian for variety), and my legs are STRONG!  Strong legs= easier running!! If you can't complete all the run segments, do it again next time, don't try and move on.  Except maybe that stupid, random 20 minute run in week 5.  Fuck that guy. It doesn't matter if you take longer to finish the program than the 8 weeks.  And that 8 week thing is kinda bullshit anyway because by the end of week 6, it's just warm-up/ruuuuuuuuuunnnnnn/cool-down, ...

The goal of these Facebook challenges is to have bettered yourself in some way by the end of the 21 days.  It's also based on the theory that it takes 21 days to make a habit.  Every day you get 1 point for an exercise photo and 1 point for a healthy eating photo, and every point is an entry for a drawing and a t-shirt.  I won a t-shirt last month!! WINNING!! Last week was a break from the challenges for the holiday, but it wasn't a break for me!  Lonnie has finally jumped on board with me and we kissed sugar goodbye last Sunday.  Honestly, for some reason it hasn't even been that hard.  And it is AMAZING the changes that happen so quickly when junk food and sugar aren't in my system... I feel thinner and lighter within a couple days.   My mental clarity and focus improve right away.  Which was AWESOME because it allowed me to get COMPLETELY caught up in my coursework. Having that hanging over my head was really bothering me. I actua...

As I watch the second of our 2 cars being hauled off by a tow truck--both this morning, I thought myself, "WELL FUCK JULY SO FAR!"  Then I remembered my mom saying in an email the other day, "Blog, girl, blog.  It's cheaper than psychotherapy " So... July started with my baby moving 12 hours away, and not-at-all in the way we had planned.  The plan was to load her and her friend up in a moving truck, and wave goodbye as they drove off into the horizon.  Then her friend decided she couldn't go for 2 more weeks, which threw Jessi (and the rest of us) in turmoil over whether or not to go or wait.  From a place of strength and determination, and despite being terrified,  Jessi decided just to go on her own.  ....which was great except we had to figure out how to get her, and at least SOME of her stuff there. After lots of discussion, we ended up buying her a plane ticket from Boston.  We would drive her down, stay one night down there with her, pu...

Roadrunner back in action Today I cried in my staff meeting.  Like a moron.  One of my coworkers talked about her daughter turning 18 and their great relationship and how she knows she will move out soon, but since they are so close she will see her all the time. All I could think about was Jessi's impending departure.  I've actually been cool with it lately and thought I was over the hump.  I guess that's not a thing.  Typing this now I realize I am totally full of shit.  Just last night we were looking at upcoming movie trailers and I was deep breathing and fighting tears because Lonnie, Jessi, and I watch EVERY horror movie that comes out... even the dumb ones like Unfriended.  (OMG so... so.... bad) Once I got home, I continued to feel "on the verge," then Sean and his shenanigans pissed me off and my brain just frantically racing that it needed something, Lonnie to come home? a glass of wine? candy? A cry myself to sleep then nap?...

We have an exciting new trip on the very distant horizon.  We are all super excited about it!!  And then..... WA WA WAAAAA I start researching our little mini-trip adventures and one of the ones that I am most excited about has a weight limit.  And I am 50 pounds over.  That is a lot of weight to lose.  FORTUNATELY, I have eleven months to do it.  UNFORTUNATELY, based on past experience, I lack confidence that I can do this. I took the weekend to wallow in self-pity.  Then we went for a walk in the city forest, and I realized just how out-of-shape I am, and so then I wallowed in self-pity some more.  Not quite done with the wallowing, but tomorrow I plan to SPRING out of bed and get a good walk in before work.  Putting couch25k on the back-burner for now and am just going to walk walk walk walk walk walk........ 50 pounds to go......

I worked overnight Thursday and Friday, and even though I was able to get plenty of sleep, I still used it as an excuse to eat ALL THE CARBS and accomplish nothing all weekend long ;-)  And I am good with that! I just looked at the weather and it looks like this is the week I will finally get back outside and work my way back into running.  I got me some AWESOME Newton's fer cheap at Marden's over the winter and they are ready to hit the pavement! I have such illusions of it being fun and great to be back out running, but I know that it won't be.  I will probably hate every second of it... until the last second when I feel GREAT that I DID IT!

Usually when I have not blogged in a bit, it's because I have fallen off the wagon and just don't want to face that in font.  Today I come back to blogging after a little break still fully entrenched in my weight loss endeavor.  I have even started running again.  Lonnie and I are fast tracking ourselves through Couch to 5k.  We are and doing three run days in a row (which is week in the program), then taking a one day break, then starting another 3 days.  I assume we will hit a road block around week 5 or 6 where we will need to repeat some days, but maybe not!  It's going well, and even though we are in the midst of a stifling heat/humidity wave, I have been able to easily complete the run segments.  This is not to say I am skipping out there with a giant smile on my face though  ;-)    This summer has been a GIANT exercise in self-control and learning to find outlets for my emotions that don't involve snacks.   We ...

My life long enemy. I want it and I want it now and if I can't have it now that I don't fucking want it I want something else instead. Yes, I am a 2 year old pirate in a 41 year old body. I tend to embrace most of my "faults" and don't try to change them because they are part of who I am, and I like me!  But this one... this inability to wait for things... is something that I need to work on if I want to like me EVEN MORE! Weight Watchers has been a HUGE lesson in this.  Many days I feel like it is not working.  This is completely asinine as I have lost weight every week except one (and that one I can blame on hormones!).  This morning was my seventh weigh-in and as of today I have lost 14 pounds.  That is not, "not working."  That is 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I hate 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I like "GO GO GO aaaaaaannnnnnnd DONE!!!" Running... another lesson.  I love me some running.  I feel awesom...

What a waste I trying to learn to teach my brain, belly, and mouth to slow their roll.  Settle down.  Be happy with less. I also know that I must keep all three happy while doing so, or there will be a REVOLUTION! It's a delicate balance. Yesterday Lonnie, Jessi, the pups and I had a simply marvelous day on the coast.  We beached.  We laked.  We downtown Bar Harbored.  Before we left, Lonnie and I even made going for a run a priority.  Yay us! Jessi and I doing some sick cheerleader moves at Long Pond As I knew I had plenty of activity points for the day, and I hadn't eaten much, I decided that this day deserved to be topped off with a little ice cream!   .....then I saw the adorable little cupcake shop with case full of beautiful, delicious looking cupcakes of happiness.  ( as an aside.... I have been obsessed with cupcakes lately anyway because I have been watching 'Cupcake Wars' on netflix... which honestly, may...

I have lost 2.6 pounds since I started Weight Watchers.  Woo Fucking Hoo.  In the past when I have started a diet, the first week was the BEST!!  I would lose 5-7 pounds right out the gate and it would have me SINGING!! Apparently once you are "fortysomething" that is no longer a thing.  Here is what I am telling myself.... "HEY!!  This is WAY better!  I am taking this seriously and working hard and not cheating at all.  This slow steady weight loss is exactly what you need for several reasons. 1.  You need to take it slow to give you time to learn HOW TO EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.  To eat normally even when you are bored, sad, excited, nervous, bored, bored, or bored. 2.  Slower weight loss hopefully means no loose skin.  That shit is nasty.  And I have no secret skin surgery bank account, nor is some celebrity going to pop out of my wall and offer to pay for it. 3. You are treating this time differently.  ...

Taken for Lonnie on my lunch break. ;-) Weight Watchers is going VERY WELL!!  Yes, it has only been 3 days, but they were three GREAT DAYS that even included several of the challenges that usually result in me eating McDonalds!  Yesterday I had jury duty, and on my lunch break, I drove RIGHT PAST Mikky Ds and over to Hannaford and made myself a delicious salad bar salad, which I enjoyed in my car listening to Dr Laura, and pouring rain pelting my roof. Lonnie is supportive of everything I do, but he was not interested in joining WW with me, and I don't blame him.  There is something "girly" about it.  Then while muching my salad and listening to Dr Laura rip someone a new asshole, I got this message... So now we are in this together, and it just adds to the fun because I get to play 'tour guide' and as a bonafide know-it-all, I love that shit.  LOL Off for a run.... walk....run.... walk.... run.....

Sean had a timeline project a couple weeks ago and he and I went through my blog together ( my old blog and this new one) to gather photos to add to the timeline and to refresh our memories about exact dates of events.  It was quite an afternoon of reminiscing, the good stuff (vacations, shooting his first deer, new puppies!), and the not-so-good stuff (deaths, divorce, moves).  One thing I have mixed feelings about is my never-ending weight loss struggle.  One the one hand, it's YAY FOR ME...I never give up!!  But on the other hand, I am the basically the same as I was when I started blogging in 2006, so all the diets, exercise, etc. really did.... well... nothing?  Thaaaaat's kind of depressing. BUT..... My body and my mind just feel so much better when I am sticking to a low carb diet.  I feel in control of things.  I don't ever feel bloaty.  I feel lighter.  I don't binge.  I eat when I am hungry... and am more cognizant of w...