Constant Commentary

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!! On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, "Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it."  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you. I had already been exercising, and trying (<--note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor...

Well "does it" may be stretching it.  I just started yesterday. One of my coworkers, Cathy,  became a beachbody coach and started this little facebook group/challenge and I was like. "HELL YEAH I AM IN!"  (ok, I was more like, "oooh wouldn't it be great if I actually followed through with this, but we all know I probably won't") I work noon to midnight on Mondays and Tuesdays.  I actually chose that shift on purpose with the daydream of "Oooh... I'll get up and exercise before work, and get stuff done, and it will just be sunshine and roses every day!!!"  Day 1 I laid in bed and have convinced myself to exercise later... tomorrow... Then a got a notification on my phone.  Cathy had posted a picture of herself having just worked out.  Oh HELL NO!!  If she is up and working out, I have NO excuse!!!  So I did it.  And it sucked.  a LOT.  I did t25 and it was ROUGH.  It showed me that I REALLY need to embrace this challe...

OMG This photo is laughably terrible, but it's me and I accept that.  (Although you would THINK Lonnie could have told me to pull my shirt down...lol  Actually... no, he would never suggest anything like that, goes completely against his philosophy of nakedness)  It was taken right after finishing Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program.  I wonder how many "day 1s" I of this stupid program I have done? Not gonna lie, it did NOT go well.  I was able to do with without walking at all, but in the past I have started day 1 and then skipped up a couple weeks because it was so easy.  It was not so easy for either Lonnie, or me.  BUT I felt awesome afterwards and am glad to be back out there.  I really think having this to focus on will help with the wide array of emotions going on around here!!  I still can't believe my kid is moving 12 hours away.  To be honest... I still DON'T entirely believe it and am still in "I'll believe it when I see it"...

This week's "selfie" that actually DOES illustrate something!     Plan:   Hop out of bed at 9am and go for a nice brisk hour-long walk with Luna Reality: Wake up at 9...ish.  Lay in bed until 10 frigging around with my tablet and waffling back-and-forth about whether or not to walk. "If I go at 930, I still have time to walk and get back to get ready for work at noon." "I could just start tomorrow."   "Even if I go at 10, I still have time."   "If I went at 10:30, I could still get in a half-hour walk.  Maybe I should start there anyway since I am so out-of-shape?" Sean no likey the selfies ;-) Then I thought about the last line of yesterday's blog.  "50 pounds to go!"  I don't want next Sunday's blog to still say, "50 pounds to go!"  So I JUMPED out of bed before I could change my mind again. THIS is why I blog. I was GREATLY rewarded for not being a lazy fat-ass.  Sean is on s...

Instead if the "weekly shows nothing selfie, Here is one that actually does show something. And you know what?  I don't even hate it. We've taken a few days off.  Not completely off, but a bit relaxed.  We had some cake for Sean's birthday.  And Sean requested birthday lasagna as well.  Damn my lasagna is good.  I did do some little things to create the illusion of control ...like make a smaller pan of lasagna.  And other than those things over the weekend, I stayed away from sugar. Including that Easter candy that continues to linger around the house. Then yesterday I continued to be "off it" a bit.  I had a busy day and not-gonna-lie, the second I went out the door, I knew I was going to use my business as an excuse to have my favorite McDonald's meal ---even though I easily could have made a better choice.  Verruca (and Ms. PMS) wanted it.... and Colleen gave in.  Then when I got home from work, there were 2 pieces of cake lef...

Weekly coffee selfie... new diningroom location! It was a long day but I made it through.  Lonnie and I both came close to giving in when Sean came home with so, so much candy and was like a crack dealer trying to share it with us.  But we stood strong.   I kept thinking, "Well it's not like I am not going to have sugar at some point, why not on a holiday?"  and wondering if perhaps this torturing myself was just hollowing out a hole in my brain and I am eventually just going to go batshit crazy and EAT ALL THE THINGS to attempt to fill it up.  the funny thing is, at one point Lonnie said, "Just go ahead, pick like 4 pieces and keep it to that." :::insert spoiled voice::: I don't WANT 4 stupid pieces.  I want 104. I couldn't even think of which 4 I would choose, honestly, none of them appealed to me-- which told me that it wasn't really the candy itself that I wanted , it was Veruca (that spoiled little girl!), being told no and throwing a...

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin'!  I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn't even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn't feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called 'Paleo Takeout' and I learned that there is cons...

Well... this week's 'iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing' actually does illustrate something.  Don't wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob. Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don't involve that garbage.  I didn't have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it! We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well... it is what it is. The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacatio...

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW and can FEEL that this is PMS related---  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway. New gym pants from Lane Bryant The good: Olive Garden dressing--- basically candy. -On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own... all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!! -Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn't have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right-- it'll full of sugar!! ), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup-- and I didn't finish it. Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too ;-)  More sugar, but SO yummy! -I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  The...

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed. Things that have not changed.... I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....) I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them. I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all. I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to I still love Justin Bieber And One Direction. Things that HAVE changed.... I have LESS fat on my body. The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under. I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply. I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, ...

Need to stop this day counting thing soon, it's confusing as hell! NO time yesterday to blog or take my weekly 'useless-does-not-illustrate-anything-at-all iced coffee selfie' ;-)  I actually got called in to work before I even got out of bed!!  I DID manage to hork down leftover chicken with guac from Sunday nights dinner though, so was able to start a crazy day off right!  It felt good to make myself a priority and not just throw everything out the window and eat shitty food because I am overwhelmed and busy. I was on the road all day, and did not have time or inclination to pack a lunch, so when I finally had a second to breath, I ran into a grocery store deep in the woods of Greenville, Maine, picked up a cheese stick, a bag of macadamia nuts (YUM!!!  Hadn't had those in FOREVER!!!), and a yellow pepper and munched my way back to civilization.  Again.... feeling AWESOME that I am not using the hectic-ness of my job as an excuse to derail.  I even stoppe...