Constant Commentary

This week's "selfie" that actually DOES illustrate something!     Plan:   Hop out of bed at 9am and go for a nice brisk hour-long walk with Luna Reality: Wake up at 9...ish.  Lay in bed until 10 frigging around with my tablet and waffling back-and-forth about whether or not to walk. "If I go at 930, I still have time to walk and get back to get ready for work at noon." "I could just start tomorrow."   "Even if I go at 10, I still have time."   "If I went at 10:30, I could still get in a half-hour walk.  Maybe I should start there anyway since I am so out-of-shape?" Sean no likey the selfies ;-) Then I thought about the last line of yesterday's blog.  "50 pounds to go!"  I don't want next Sunday's blog to still say, "50 pounds to go!"  So I JUMPED out of bed before I could change my mind again. THIS is why I blog. I was GREATLY rewarded for not being a lazy fat-ass.  Sean is on s...

We have an exciting new trip on the very distant horizon.  We are all super excited about it!!  And then..... WA WA WAAAAA I start researching our little mini-trip adventures and one of the ones that I am most excited about has a weight limit.  And I am 50 pounds over.  That is a lot of weight to lose.  FORTUNATELY, I have eleven months to do it.  UNFORTUNATELY, based on past experience, I lack confidence that I can do this. I took the weekend to wallow in self-pity.  Then we went for a walk in the city forest, and I realized just how out-of-shape I am, and so then I wallowed in self-pity some more.  Not quite done with the wallowing, but tomorrow I plan to SPRING out of bed and get a good walk in before work.  Putting couch25k on the back-burner for now and am just going to walk walk walk walk walk walk........ 50 pounds to go......

Well... this week's 'iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing' actually does illustrate something.  Don't wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob. Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don't involve that garbage.  I didn't have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it! We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well... it is what it is. The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacatio...

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed. Things that have not changed.... I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....) I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them. I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all. I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to I still love Justin Bieber And One Direction. Things that HAVE changed.... I have LESS fat on my body. The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under. I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply. I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, ...

Not a lot to say today!  Still doing well.  Lonnie and Sean managed to hit the gym yesterday, but I was on-call, so I didn't go.  I should have.  I could have easily walked on the treadmill or lifted weights and left if I got called in... actually since the gym is in Bangor, I am closer to wherever I get called to... lesson learned! On another note I need to figure out how to fix the giant-ass banner of this blog.

...and I was trying to think of a way to journal through this new endeavor, why not use it!? I'd like a little less belly and little less face please :) Today I am starting yet another diet.   Screw all you "don't diet, change your lifestyle people."  That is totally just something you say when you don't want to admit you are on a diet.  Also... dieting IS changing your lifestyle.  Currently my lifestyle is eating McDonald's and chips and chex mix and well... whatever the hell I feel like eating when I am hungry, bored, tired, stressed, annoyed, upset, or see a commercial for something yummy.  My lifestyle is also mostly sitting and sleeping with brief, occasional spurts of exercise. SO... "changing my lifestyle" means from today until I leave for Mexico on February 5th, I am going to live a different "lifestyle."   I am going to use air-quotes a lot.  I am going to eat only meats and veggies, and some cheese.  I am not going to give up ...

Being an emotional eater sucks. Being an emotional eater at "that time the month" when you are highly emotional anyway and have cravings for things like cheez-it's and sugar cereal and sour patch kids and Ben and Jerry's coffee Heath bar crunch sucks extra super hard. Being an emotional eater when you are chomping at the bit for the love-of-your-life to move in with you and it's just days away... But it's not here yet and tonight you are alone... Extra alone because your kids are at their Dad's house... Extra extra super sucks. I came home and ate half a box of cheez it's and then attacked a box of frosted flakes. I went over my calories by 263. Damn. I was then feeling my typical "oh well this day is blown, I may as well eat whatever." I was also trying to talk myself into going out for a walk or a run but feeling very lazy and tired...another of those wonderful things about pms ;-). As I sat here arguing with myself.... Enter Butters ...