Constant Commentary

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!! On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, "Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it."  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you. I had already been exercising, and trying (<--note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor...

As I watch the second of our 2 cars being hauled off by a tow truck--both this morning, I thought myself, "WELL FUCK JULY SO FAR!"  Then I remembered my mom saying in an email the other day, "Blog, girl, blog.  It's cheaper than psychotherapy " So... July started with my baby moving 12 hours away, and not-at-all in the way we had planned.  The plan was to load her and her friend up in a moving truck, and wave goodbye as they drove off into the horizon.  Then her friend decided she couldn't go for 2 more weeks, which threw Jessi (and the rest of us) in turmoil over whether or not to go or wait.  From a place of strength and determination, and despite being terrified,  Jessi decided just to go on her own.  ....which was great except we had to figure out how to get her, and at least SOME of her stuff there. After lots of discussion, we ended up buying her a plane ticket from Boston.  We would drive her down, stay one night down there with her, pu...

While I don't plan to count the days like I did last time.  Today is day 4.  It's been tough to get back into it.  Sugar does NOT fuck around.  It knows how to find you in your weakest moments and just whisper sweet nothings in your ear. I am still shocked that I didn't give in to my sweet devil on Tuesday.  I had a long, crazy shift, with no time to eat.  When I finished up with what I hoped would be my last client at 9pm, I dreaded going home and having to prepare something for supper.  I{ was STARVING, to the point of being shaky and irrational.  So I used a lifeline.  I called Lonnie and talked to him on the phone because I knew if  I was talking to him when I passed McDonald's, I wouldn't pull in.  It WORKED!  Not only did it work, but I felt empowered enough to take the time to stop at the grocery store and pick up some salad stuff.  ( I LOVE salad!!! ---no sarcasm!  I LOVE IT!) When I got home, I was all ...

I have been doing lots of blogging over on my other blog.  I am using that other blog as a motivational journal to stay on track of eating healthy and exercising.  (Ok.... it hasn't worked so far to get me to exercise, but it will, I'm sure!!) http://colleenisonit.blogspot.com/ As I type this, I kind of wonder why I chose to separate out my never-ending-quest-to-be-less-fat from my blog of regular life....  I mean this IS my life.  I think it's because I am thinking of the other blog more like a journal and am really trying to blog daily and didn't want to bog down this blog with that minutia.  But that doesn't really make sense, does it? Now I am thinking about making tabs. Well, whatever I decide to do, if you would like to follow my current stand, click that picture up there!

When I wasn't working and doing fun stuff, I spent a good part of 2015 going back and forth about grad school.  I even applied to a couple.  But ultimately decided that I just don't feel right adding to my already enormously high student loan mountain of debt.  ...that is already growing since I am helping Jessi pay for college.... and interest of course.  I would love to get my Master's.  I LOVE school and I would also love to be more marketable once we starting planning our move from Maine, and I have the time for it with the job I have now.  So if I could just win the lottery......    I have few regrets in life as everything I have lived through has made me the bucket of awesomesauce that I am today,  but I definitely regret spending all that money and time going to Husson University to get my teaching credentials.  I could have my graduate degree, and instead I have nothing since I didn't finish the program by doing student ...

Boston aquarium and an excuse to show of my man's sexy arm ;-) It happens.  September arrived, and with it a flurry of activity and emotions.  We started our new fall work schedules (a new schedule that  I LOVE, but was a big change nonetheless), Jessi headed back to UMaine, Sean started 8th grade, Mom came for a surprise visit, we went on our long-awaited long weekend to Boston........ etc etc etc..... All were WONDERFUL excuses to not count points and stick to Weight Watchers.  I CAN proudly say that I have continued to exercise!  Yay me! But now I am at a crossroads of sorts.  I am not feeling WW at all.  I have considered going back to low-carb for awhile.  But honestly.... as of this moment.  I am just feeling sticking to exercise and trying to be more mindful about what I stuff in my face and why I am doing said stuffing. Speaking of WHY....  Nicole (bff) and I were talking about all my yearly autumn drama Nicole: Why AR...

My life long enemy. I want it and I want it now and if I can't have it now that I don't fucking want it I want something else instead. Yes, I am a 2 year old pirate in a 41 year old body. I tend to embrace most of my "faults" and don't try to change them because they are part of who I am, and I like me!  But this one... this inability to wait for things... is something that I need to work on if I want to like me EVEN MORE! Weight Watchers has been a HUGE lesson in this.  Many days I feel like it is not working.  This is completely asinine as I have lost weight every week except one (and that one I can blame on hormones!).  This morning was my seventh weigh-in and as of today I have lost 14 pounds.  That is not, "not working."  That is 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I hate 'slow and steady wins the race.'  I like "GO GO GO aaaaaaannnnnnnd DONE!!!" Running... another lesson.  I love me some running.  I feel awesom...

Sean had a timeline project a couple weeks ago and he and I went through my blog together ( my old blog and this new one) to gather photos to add to the timeline and to refresh our memories about exact dates of events.  It was quite an afternoon of reminiscing, the good stuff (vacations, shooting his first deer, new puppies!), and the not-so-good stuff (deaths, divorce, moves).  One thing I have mixed feelings about is my never-ending weight loss struggle.  One the one hand, it's YAY FOR ME...I never give up!!  But on the other hand, I am the basically the same as I was when I started blogging in 2006, so all the diets, exercise, etc. really did.... well... nothing?  Thaaaaat's kind of depressing. BUT..... My body and my mind just feel so much better when I am sticking to a low carb diet.  I feel in control of things.  I don't ever feel bloaty.  I feel lighter.  I don't binge.  I eat when I am hungry... and am more cognizant of w...

As I mentioned before, when I saw the photos of myself on Jessi's graduation day, I was horrified at the weight I had allowed myself to balloon up to.  Even though I knew the numbers on the scale were getting larger, I somehow managed to bury had my head in the sand and ignore it all. But on that day, I vowed to myself that I would NOT look at photos of the day I dropped Jessi off at college and feel the same way.  I vowed I would NEVER look at photos and feel that way again.  I have lost 20 pounds since that day.  I am a huge fan of instant gratification, so I wish I could say it was more, but I'll take it because damnit,.... I HAVE EARNED IT. Lonnie and I are still going strong on our new way of eating.  I can't really call it low-carb, or paleo, because it's really a combo of the two.  Our focus is no breads, pastas, stuff like that.  And no processed foods.  Except diet caffeine-free soda.  Just can't give it up.  Maybe...

We are going strong on our new way of eating.  There are still some moments days when it feels like we are "on a diet."  But those moments are getting fewer and more far between.  When either one of us has a case of the 'snackies' ...we are supportive and think of alternative snacks or activites, OR we daydream out loud about Saturday night's cheat meal :-)  Tomorrow marks 5 weeks that we have been eating this way and we both are feeling fantastic and losing weight!  (Of course, being a man... Lonnie is basically melting away like a snowman in July, and I am... well.... not losing quite as quickly.  lol) We are leaning heavily towards a Paleo lifestyle...  while also watching carbs.  Low carb and Paleo kind of go hand-in-hand since Paleo = eating only fruits, veggies, meats, nuts and seeds.  But dairy is a Paleo no-no... and I am not sure I ever want to give up dairy... and by dairy I mean cheese.    I am eating barely any carbs t...