Constant Commentary

My traditional post-run "collapsed on the stairs at the end" selfie (and my Ennelle Sports bra--if ya gots the big boobies like me, this bra will be your bff! It locks the girls down like there is a riot in cell block 8!) Listen.  I have started, stopped, finished, and quit C25k roughly 67 times over the past several years.  I now consider myself an expert. My biggest success in this program has been when I combine it with leg strength stuff on non-run days.  Right now I am doing t25 (and sometimes Jillian for variety), and my legs are STRONG!  Strong legs= easier running!! If you can't complete all the run segments, do it again next time, don't try and move on.  Except maybe that stupid, random 20 minute run in week 5.  Fuck that guy. It doesn't matter if you take longer to finish the program than the 8 weeks.  And that 8 week thing is kinda bullshit anyway because by the end of week 6, it's just warm-up/ruuuuuuuuuunnnnnn/cool-down, ...

The goal of these Facebook challenges is to have bettered yourself in some way by the end of the 21 days.  It's also based on the theory that it takes 21 days to make a habit.  Every day you get 1 point for an exercise photo and 1 point for a healthy eating photo, and every point is an entry for a drawing and a t-shirt.  I won a t-shirt last month!! WINNING!! Last week was a break from the challenges for the holiday, but it wasn't a break for me!  Lonnie has finally jumped on board with me and we kissed sugar goodbye last Sunday.  Honestly, for some reason it hasn't even been that hard.  And it is AMAZING the changes that happen so quickly when junk food and sugar aren't in my system... I feel thinner and lighter within a couple days.   My mental clarity and focus improve right away.  Which was AWESOME because it allowed me to get COMPLETELY caught up in my coursework. Having that hanging over my head was really bothering me. I actua...

So I finished another 3 week challenge.  I did not finish very strong, kinda let the ole PMS derail things.  I also have been under-the-weather the past few days with either the flu or lyme disease. Fantastic. ANYWAY.... I am still off soda.  I don't even miss it anymore. I am am loving water! I am starting to actually enjoy exercise again... (well except for the past couple days) BUT.... I went to the doctor today (see above), and got weighed.  It was bad. Really bad. Makes me feel like all these great changes have been for nothing and that sucks.  It's not like I don't know why though.  I have been eating a lot of shit.  That dam convenience store down the road is the bane of my existence.  Especially since I am Mrs. Eatsmyfeelings and I am having a lot of feelings to eat lately! My plan.  Give myself a break until Jessi heads to Richmond at the end of the week, then it's FUCKING ON!  NO more convenience store. Continuing...

OMG This photo is laughably terrible, but it's me and I accept that.  (Although you would THINK Lonnie could have told me to pull my shirt down...lol  Actually... no, he would never suggest anything like that, goes completely against his philosophy of nakedness)  It was taken right after finishing Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program.  I wonder how many "day 1s" I of this stupid program I have done? Not gonna lie, it did NOT go well.  I was able to do with without walking at all, but in the past I have started day 1 and then skipped up a couple weeks because it was so easy.  It was not so easy for either Lonnie, or me.  BUT I felt awesome afterwards and am glad to be back out there.  I really think having this to focus on will help with the wide array of emotions going on around here!!  I still can't believe my kid is moving 12 hours away.  To be honest... I still DON'T entirely believe it and am still in "I'll believe it when I see it"...

I worked overnight Thursday and Friday, and even though I was able to get plenty of sleep, I still used it as an excuse to eat ALL THE CARBS and accomplish nothing all weekend long ;-)  And I am good with that! I just looked at the weather and it looks like this is the week I will finally get back outside and work my way back into running.  I got me some AWESOME Newton's fer cheap at Marden's over the winter and they are ready to hit the pavement! I have such illusions of it being fun and great to be back out running, but I know that it won't be.  I will probably hate every second of it... until the last second when I feel GREAT that I DID IT!

I haz em.  Mother Nature does not. I want to plant some herbs and stuff this year.  I say this every year, but this time I mean it, damnit. We don't have a lot of space in the sunshine, but I think we have just enough to do one of those cute Pinterest-y container gardens. I want to get outside and work towards running goals again. (Just not enough to bundle up and feel my snot freeze,)  It's 32 freaking degrees out today.  And windy.  And blustery.  I HATE THAT! I want to jump out of the bed on the weekends excited because Lonnie and I have adventures planned!  The kind of adventures that don't involve mittens or frostbite. I want to do a cool thing like take my schoolwork out to a park and study under a tree.  (LOL I  will NEVER do that!)  I guarantee if that happens I WILL find a way to selfie that shit ;-)

Well... this week's 'iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing' actually does illustrate something.  Don't wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob. Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don't involve that garbage.  I didn't have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it! We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well... it is what it is. The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacatio...

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW and can FEEL that this is PMS related---  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway. New gym pants from Lane Bryant The good: Olive Garden dressing--- basically candy. -On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own... all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!! -Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn't have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right-- it'll full of sugar!! ), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup-- and I didn't finish it. Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too ;-)  More sugar, but SO yummy! -I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  The...

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed. Things that have not changed.... I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....) I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them. I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all. I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to I still love Justin Bieber And One Direction. Things that HAVE changed.... I have LESS fat on my body. The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under. I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply. I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, ...

Maybe blog slacking means I need less motivational tools to keep going! We managed to get our butts to the gym both days this weekend!   This morning was our Sunday morning yoga class and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! My main focus at the gym is liftng weights and I am loving that too!  I love feeling strong and powerful.   If we have time and I am feeling like it, I do some run/walking on the treadmill.   Instead of couch to 5k, I am alternating running and walking for 1 minute each and will build up from there.   I worked with a trainer last year and he wasn't too crazy about the couch to 5k program and recommended this instead. As far as the eating part goes, it's going great!  Yesterday Lonnie  and I went on a mini road trip.  The plan for our last stop was the grocery, but by the time we got there, we had hit a wall, hard.  There was talk of having a cheat day aND just buying some snacks, but I couldn't do it.   And I hon...

Running at the gym... back to the beginning of Couch to 5k Yoga mat LOCKED AND LOADED What a great weekend! We actually got our asses to the gym BOTH days, and this morning got up early to get to Yoga by 9:15.  Yoga for fat people is just.... well... it's something.  Fortunately, I am very bendy, so my frustration when the chub gets in the way gets cancelled out by my competitive nature, "HA!  Yeah I'm fat, but I can touch the floor with my forward fold so HA!"  I totally fell on my ass trying to do one legged balancing pose because I have zero balance and it. was. HYSTERICAL! We even went to the movies today and ate a healthy, late, protein-packed, breakfast Fritatta before leaving, passed on the moviesnacks and ordered our favorite grilled chicken salads to pick up on the way home.  I did "splurge" a little and did not pick out my croutons, but I DID skip the included pita bread that I usually use to scrape up every last bit of their magical basil vinaigr...

I have been doing lots of blogging over on my other blog.  I am using that other blog as a motivational journal to stay on track of eating healthy and exercising.  (Ok.... it hasn't worked so far to get me to exercise, but it will, I'm sure!!) http://colleenisonit.blogspot.com/ As I type this, I kind of wonder why I chose to separate out my never-ending-quest-to-be-less-fat from my blog of regular life....  I mean this IS my life.  I think it's because I am thinking of the other blog more like a journal and am really trying to blog daily and didn't want to bog down this blog with that minutia.  But that doesn't really make sense, does it? Now I am thinking about making tabs. Well, whatever I decide to do, if you would like to follow my current stand, click that picture up there!

When I wasn't working and doing fun stuff, I spent a good part of 2015 going back and forth about grad school.  I even applied to a couple.  But ultimately decided that I just don't feel right adding to my already enormously high student loan mountain of debt.  ...that is already growing since I am helping Jessi pay for college.... and interest of course.  I would love to get my Master's.  I LOVE school and I would also love to be more marketable once we starting planning our move from Maine, and I have the time for it with the job I have now.  So if I could just win the lottery......    I have few regrets in life as everything I have lived through has made me the bucket of awesomesauce that I am today,  but I definitely regret spending all that money and time going to Husson University to get my teaching credentials.  I could have my graduate degree, and instead I have nothing since I didn't finish the program by doing student ...