Constant Commentary

Today marks 1 month since Jessi flew the coop.  Not-gonna-lie, that first week was ROUGH!  There was a lot of crying, sulking, pouting, moping.....  you get the idea.  Since then, I have been ok, we text every day, and she is still including me in knowing stuff about her life.  Less stuff.  But stuff.  This is what she needed, to get away from my influence, Maine, and whatever else, and to have a chance to figure out what she wants and who she is with no distractions.  So... during the day.  I am fine.  Yes, there are some songs that come on the radio or things I see that bring on that sting in the eyes.... but I recover quickly ;-)  Being focused on house stuff, weekend adventures, and fitness, has been a huge help to avoid emotional eating or wallowing in my own self-pity. The last goodbye tackle During the day. It's the weirdo nighttime shit that is disconcerting . A few nights a week I have Jessi dreams where I am cr...

The goal of these Facebook challenges is to have bettered yourself in some way by the end of the 21 days.  It's also based on the theory that it takes 21 days to make a habit.  Every day you get 1 point for an exercise photo and 1 point for a healthy eating photo, and every point is an entry for a drawing and a t-shirt.  I won a t-shirt last month!! WINNING!! Last week was a break from the challenges for the holiday, but it wasn't a break for me!  Lonnie has finally jumped on board with me and we kissed sugar goodbye last Sunday.  Honestly, for some reason it hasn't even been that hard.  And it is AMAZING the changes that happen so quickly when junk food and sugar aren't in my system... I feel thinner and lighter within a couple days.   My mental clarity and focus improve right away.  Which was AWESOME because it allowed me to get COMPLETELY caught up in my coursework. Having that hanging over my head was really bothering me. I actua...

When I wasn't working and doing fun stuff, I spent a good part of 2015 going back and forth about grad school.  I even applied to a couple.  But ultimately decided that I just don't feel right adding to my already enormously high student loan mountain of debt.  ...that is already growing since I am helping Jessi pay for college.... and interest of course.  I would love to get my Master's.  I LOVE school and I would also love to be more marketable once we starting planning our move from Maine, and I have the time for it with the job I have now.  So if I could just win the lottery......    I have few regrets in life as everything I have lived through has made me the bucket of awesomesauce that I am today,  but I definitely regret spending all that money and time going to Husson University to get my teaching credentials.  I could have my graduate degree, and instead I have nothing since I didn't finish the program by doing student ...

Boston aquarium and an excuse to show of my man's sexy arm ;-) It happens.  September arrived, and with it a flurry of activity and emotions.  We started our new fall work schedules (a new schedule that  I LOVE, but was a big change nonetheless), Jessi headed back to UMaine, Sean started 8th grade, Mom came for a surprise visit, we went on our long-awaited long weekend to Boston........ etc etc etc..... All were WONDERFUL excuses to not count points and stick to Weight Watchers.  I CAN proudly say that I have continued to exercise!  Yay me! But now I am at a crossroads of sorts.  I am not feeling WW at all.  I have considered going back to low-carb for awhile.  But honestly.... as of this moment.  I am just feeling sticking to exercise and trying to be more mindful about what I stuff in my face and why I am doing said stuffing. Speaking of WHY....  Nicole (bff) and I were talking about all my yearly autumn drama Nicole: Why AR...

Usually when I have not blogged in a bit, it's because I have fallen off the wagon and just don't want to face that in font.  Today I come back to blogging after a little break still fully entrenched in my weight loss endeavor.  I have even started running again.  Lonnie and I are fast tracking ourselves through Couch to 5k.  We are and doing three run days in a row (which is week in the program), then taking a one day break, then starting another 3 days.  I assume we will hit a road block around week 5 or 6 where we will need to repeat some days, but maybe not!  It's going well, and even though we are in the midst of a stifling heat/humidity wave, I have been able to easily complete the run segments.  This is not to say I am skipping out there with a giant smile on my face though  ;-)    This summer has been a GIANT exercise in self-control and learning to find outlets for my emotions that don't involve snacks.   We ...

Still plugging along.  Can't say I am loving it.  And honestly, 3/4s of the time I don't feel like I am accomplishing anything at all.  Ok maybe half the time.  It's just happening soooo slowly and I don't feel like I am seeing the results that I should be since I have NEVER gone over my points for the week.  Ever. This is not to say I am working my butt off, because I am not.   I have not really been exercising very much.  Today I tried to jump back on the horse and took Luna for a nice longish walk.  Last week I challenged a friend to daily arm workouts, and I did it the day I initiated the challenge and that's it.  LOL Why don't I exercise?  Well...  here's my list of stupid excuses....  1. I am lazy. 2. It's summer and I would rather go to the beach. 3.  It's fucking hot and even more fucking humid and I hate that shit. 4.  Waiting for Lonnie to get home and then driving to the gym and working out an...

Craig's Pond 7/12/15 It's no secret that I am counting the days until I from from Maine.  But sometimes... in the summer, and especially in the fall, I pre-maturely wax nostalgic about this place and it's beauty.   Especially now that I have a partner who loves to be out-and-about with me ad venturing and stuff! Peaks Kenny 7/11/15 Something you may not know..... I am a mermaid.  I could swim all day long, every day, and then go swim some more.  If the Ursula the Sea Witch offered Arielle and I a chance to swap lives,  I'm not sure I could refuse.  What's odd about my being a mermaid, is that while I am completely comfortable, and a strong swimmer even in the deepest of ocean, lake or pool waters, I am not good at it.  When I go to the pool to swim laps, I spend a LOT of time staring at the other lap swimmers with their perfect rhythmic breathing and steady pace and I have no id Playa Del Carmen March 2015 ea how to do this, despi...

"I will sink it." "Why do you think they put weight limits on those things?" "When I try to get into it, the whole beach is going to watch me fall on my fat ass." "Seriously.... there are weight limits.  Right in the descriptions and probably right on the kayak itself." So.... not only did it NOT sink, but I NEED A DAMN KAYAK OF MY OWN!!  SO great!!!  And so thankful for my bestie who does not listen to my bullshit and makes me do stuff even when I am bring stupid :) So I guess the real question remains.... Why DO they put weight limits on those things!!!???

What a waste I trying to learn to teach my brain, belly, and mouth to slow their roll.  Settle down.  Be happy with less. I also know that I must keep all three happy while doing so, or there will be a REVOLUTION! It's a delicate balance. Yesterday Lonnie, Jessi, the pups and I had a simply marvelous day on the coast.  We beached.  We laked.  We downtown Bar Harbored.  Before we left, Lonnie and I even made going for a run a priority.  Yay us! Jessi and I doing some sick cheerleader moves at Long Pond As I knew I had plenty of activity points for the day, and I hadn't eaten much, I decided that this day deserved to be topped off with a little ice cream!   .....then I saw the adorable little cupcake shop with case full of beautiful, delicious looking cupcakes of happiness.  ( as an aside.... I have been obsessed with cupcakes lately anyway because I have been watching 'Cupcake Wars' on netflix... which honestly, may...

How can summer already be over!?  We had so few hot, sunny days this year.  I think there was one week when we went swimming a few times, other than that, I think we spent more time at the movies on rainy days off.  ....And now it's pretty much over.  Yesterday I dropped Jessi off at 7am to begin what will most likely be her last season of playing field hockey.  :( I had been pushing her to play in college, but she is really not feeling it.  And her current plan (they change a LOT) is to get an apartment with friends in Portland and go to community college down there, so no field hockey fitting into that scenario.  Who knows though... sometimes the plan is USM, sometimes the plan takes her to Nashville..... So... just now I took a quick bathroom break from typing this blog and minimized my screen (I am at work, waaaaaaaay early because I have to drop Jessi off have 7am and have nothing else to do.)  When I came back I looked at my desktop and sa...