Irrational disappointment

I have lost 2.6 pounds since I started Weight Watchers.  Woo Fucking Hoo. 

In the past when I have started a diet, the first week was the BEST!!  I would lose 5-7 pounds right out the gate and it would have me SINGING!!

Apparently once you are "fortysomething" that is no longer a thing. 

Here is what I am telling myself....

"HEY!!  This is WAY better!  I am taking this seriously and working hard and not cheating at all.  This slow steady weight loss is exactly what you need for several reasons.

 1.  You need to take it slow to give you time to learn HOW TO EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.  To eat normally even when you are bored, sad, excited, nervous, bored, bored, or bored.

 2.  Slower weight loss hopefully means no loose skin.  That shit is nasty.  And I have no secret skin surgery bank account, nor is some celebrity going to pop out of my wall and offer to pay for it.

 3. You are treating this time differently.  You are not just focused on the end result, but instead are focused on the learning to change and the experience of it all.  You are focusing on how you feel about yourself and not what the scale says."

Here is what I am also telling myself.

"This fucking sucks.  1.3 pounds a week!??  SUPER!!!!  I should be reaching my goals about the same time I check into a nursing home.  Stupid Weight Watchers.  Stupid ME. Stupid. Stupid.... EVERYTHING!!!"

So yeah.  It's crazytown over here, but that is not a new thing :)  It really is going VERY well.  Having Lonnie doing it with me is a HUGE help for times when I get feeling really 'eaty.'  Since he knows how the plan works and is part of it all, he knows exactly when it's time to cheer me on, tell me to go ahead and have a snacky, or ask me what is going on and why I am being train-wrecky.

In related news, I am also still plugging away at getting back to being able to run 3 miles without walking.  I am in week 3 of the couch to 5k program and yesterday's run was awesome!! It was raining, I left my hair down, and I just felt like a wild beasty badass.  And the run was EASY! Like when it was cool-down time, I was like, "Really???  Already??"

In other related news.  I think if you have a fitbit and you have it connected to your weight loss account, whether it be weight watchers, or My Fitness Pal, or whatever.... you are kind of screwing yourself over.  Sometimes I get credited with activity points because of how many steps I have taken, but I haven't really done any more than I would have on a normal day. 



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