Maturity.... who knew!?

Whoa.  I saw this on Pinterest this morning and was all.... "DAMNIT... I've MATURED!???  Who wants to be MATURE!!??"  LOL  ....but alas.  It happened and I didn't even know it.

Things at work have been a bit on the rough side lately... this past week in particular, and I have shockingly taken it all in stride.  In fact, during the worst of it, I was able to "check myself before I wrecked myself" ;-)  I also spent a lot more time thinking about the fact that other people have their own shit... and not everything is about me... and guess what!?  I CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!!!  I have been working on mastering this since the divorce, and honestly.  I think I am there!  I CAN'T control anyone but me.  And that's GREAT because it means that I also am not responsible for every bad thing that happens in the universe ;-)

I have decided to ride this maturity wave like a champ.  I turn 40 this year and I am totally cool with that!  40 is going to be my year of merging who I want to me with who I AM... and I honestly don't even have far to go as I am pretty much there.  This is going to get long but....  I have whole other story on this topic!!!!

The other day I was trying to avoid going to the gym because I was taking a new class that I hadn't taken before and trying new things is freaky!  Also... it was going to be a nuisance because my little naughty boy had a homework detention, so I was going to have to drive all the way back to bring him home and then allllllll the way back to the gym.  Then this happened:

See that part where I said, "LOL I don't even do that anymore"  I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!!!  I can't even REMEMBER the last time I was all bummed out about my appearance... my body... my fat.  It was a bizarre revelation to realize that I have accepted myself for who I am.  And that before all of this, I thought that meant "giving up."  IT DOESN'T!!!!  Actually I am working just as hard as ever to tone shit up and stay active... but NOT because I hate who I am... but because I LOVE how being active makes me feel inside AND out!! 

So... I guess all this hippy dippy shit journey I have been taking ACTUALLY is leading me in the right direction.  WOO HOO!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye dear friend......

Image
I have drank... drunken? my last fountain soda.  It happened on Friday after weeks of deliberating and then a movie that put me over the edge called 'Hungry for Change" that just added fuel to my fire about the shut I put in my body and the bodies of the people I love. Here is just a snippet of what the movie shed light on...  'Seven side effects of diet soda' . Obviously I have heard all this before, but where this has been on my mind awhile, this time it really got lodged into my brain. Why does this deserve a whole blog post??  Well because a HUGE part of my hesitancy to quit is that I feel like my morning fountain soda is part of who I am!  It's my "thing" ....and everyone knows it!  Stopping at the store, filling that cup with just the right amount of ice and then bringing my soda to work and drinking it until exactly 10am at break time where I finish it off and refill the cup with water... It's all my thing!!  My daily ritual!!  So this is...
Read more

ISO home for my 50 extra pounds

Image
Excuse time is over.  There is ALWAYS an excuse to not eat right and exercise and let's get real here, NONE of them hold water. I have gained 50 fucking pounds this year.  50.  Fucking. Pounds.  That's a lot.  Like... a way lot.  Cielo's food truck took a Mother's Day shot of Jessi and I the other day and I didn't even want to tag myself in it because I look HORRIBLE!!  It's amazing how sometimes I can look in the mirror and convince myself that I don't..... I went shopping over the weekend because none of my clothes fit and it sucked.  A lot.  Like.... a way lot. I need to look at this is in a different way.  I am not taking care of myself.  I am living in the moment doing whatever I want, whenever I want.  It still feels like a party when Lonnie and I are spending time with each other and party to me = YAHOOOO eat whatever you want.  So I need to learn that happy does not equal party!   I have 5ks co...
Read more