Constant Commentary

When I was fifteen years old, I lived in a car with two guys.  I spent my days sleeping in the backseat and visiting my friends in the high school parking lot rather that going to school.  I was suspended,  and then expelled. I shoplifted a package of Twinkies from the Broadway Shop n' Save because I was hungry.  I was arrested for inciting a riot.  Then I was arrested again because I didn't return two movies and the store charged me with theft.  Then I broke into house of an ex-boyfriend to retrieve said movies (that he had refused to give back to me) and return them.  And... oh yeah, I was also a cutter.   .............................blah blah blah this all led me to want to pursue a career in social work as I feel that I can not only relate to those who are struggling, but I also feel like I am a pretty good example of the fact that one CAN come out on the other side of a bad place. The past few months I had been pondering going to grad scho...

Every morning we had established a ritual of walking from our resort over to starbucks for iced coffee and unlimited internet.  The Starbucks is located in a little plaza that also houses several shops and carts and stands.  That morning, we had decided that instead of our plan to stick around the resort pool and swim-up bar, we wanted to find an adventure.  So before our Starbucks visit, we talked with some guys at one of the stands that had been calling out to us all week to buy tours from him.  All of their tours had already left for the day, but they had a tour that sounded fun the next day to visit some Cenotes and swim and snorkle with sea turtles.  While Lonnie sorted out the details with the guy at the stand, I headed over to Starbucks.   When Lonnie came back, not only had he booked our turtle tour, but he had also met a gentleman that worked for a travel agency in the plaza who had come out to caution Lonnie not to book tours with that...

It all started with a Cinnabon at the Charlotte Airport. I couldn’t resist.  I hadn’t had one in probably 15 years, and the novelty of it got the best of me.  As I ate my ooey, gooey pile of cinnamon, frosting, and barely cooked dough, I offered Lonnie a bite, which he accepted, and then immediately regretted and said, “You are going to regret eating that thing.  That is disgusting.  You are going to be a mess and be whining to me any minute that you don’t feel well.”  I rolled my eyes. After our snack, we headed to the gate to wait for our plane.  Panic ensued as we realized that our phones were still on Mexico time and had our flight not been delayed, we would have missed it.  Even with the delay, we just made it in before they shut the doors.  I think the panic and adrenaline from that was the next nail in my coffin.  Next nail… we sat idling on the tarmac for a loooooong time.  As I sat there feeling the plane rumble and idle,...

As I mentioned before, when I saw the photos of myself on Jessi's graduation day, I was horrified at the weight I had allowed myself to balloon up to.  Even though I knew the numbers on the scale were getting larger, I somehow managed to bury had my head in the sand and ignore it all. But on that day, I vowed to myself that I would NOT look at photos of the day I dropped Jessi off at college and feel the same way.  I vowed I would NEVER look at photos and feel that way again.  I have lost 20 pounds since that day.  I am a huge fan of instant gratification, so I wish I could say it was more, but I'll take it because damnit,.... I HAVE EARNED IT. Lonnie and I are still going strong on our new way of eating.  I can't really call it low-carb, or paleo, because it's really a combo of the two.  Our focus is no breads, pastas, stuff like that.  And no processed foods.  Except diet caffeine-free soda.  Just can't give it up.  Maybe...

Everything I do the past couple days feels like "the last time I...." This is the last time I will buy Jessi Almond milk. This is the last time Jessi will be able to come to yoga with me. To Sean, "Next weekend when you come home from Dad's, it will be just the 3 of us." I realize that none of those things are probably true.  She will be home in the summers, and for breaks, but it will be different.  She's a GROWN UP now.  How did that happen!?  And she's not even 'just a grown-up'.... She is an amazing woman!! Who knows what she wants and just goes out and gets it. Who knows the difference between right and wrong, but also can see the grey. Who is a 'good girl' ....but isn't afraid it be a little bad sometimes! Who is incredibly considerate to the feelings of others. Who is the perfect balance of sassy and sweet.  OK, maybe not really.  Maybe 80% sassy....... Anyhoo... I am going to miss her like crazy.  Last night ...

I have taken yoga classes in the past.  In full disclosure I have also been pretty much kicked out of yoga classes in the past thanks to my BFF Nicole and my inability to take things seriously and not laugh our asses off at our yoga ineptness. Last week I started taking a class at my gym called BodyFlow.   Here's the "official" description... "BODYFLOW™ is the Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates workout that builds flexibility and strength and leaves you feeling centered and calm. Controlled breathing, concentration and a carefully structured series of stretches, moves and poses to music create a holistic workout that brings the body into a state of harmony and balance." But this class is different... and these days... so am I! Oh I am still inept.  And grossly uncoordinated.  And I have NO BALANCE WHATSOEVER!  And I still get laughing about it.  But this class is in a dark room so my weeble-wobble self feels almost invisible.  AND it has loud...

I bought this shirt the weekend that I turned my ankle in the Old Port.  I actually bought it AFTER I turned my ankle,  limping through Old Navy's active wear section looking for deals.  Even though my ankle was twice it's normal size and I could barely walk.... I still wholeheartedly believed that I would be starting to run again by the next weekend.... or even by then end of THAT weekend, as I had brought my stuff with me for a picturesque run on the beach.  Yes,  I am a moron who lives in fairy-make-believe-land. Five-ish months later................ I am at the doctor for my yearly physical.  As she is going through the screening I casually mention the ankle thing and how it still kinda hurts and feels weird and is swollen.  She takes a look at it... and then the lecture comes.  Nutshell:  "Worst possible sprain you could have....  May even have broken it... too late to do anything about that now.... you need to get into physic...