Constant Commentary

I haven't been feeling the whole "eat only when you are hungry and only at the table" thing this week.  ...and honestly, even though I have "pretty much" forced myself to comply... I feel yucky and bloaty and fat.  And actually... as I thought about what "pretty much" meant, and thought about all the times I ate on the couch and ate when I was hungry.  I am kidding myself about the "pretty much" thing.  I am off the rails!!  I even bought a box of cheez its.  I have had literally NO DESIRE to eat cheez its since I started this 'eat whatever you want and whatever you love the most' journey, which acutally shocked me because I thought they were my FAVORITE!!  Turns out... they are just something that I turn to when I am feelingsy and want to zone out and mindlessly snack on the couch in front of the tv.  Other than that time, I don't ever want them. So now I have to figure out WHY.  I was blaming it all on "that time of the...

About a month ago Lonnie and I had a long talk and agreed it would be to part ways …..when it came to exercise.  (gotcha!  lol) While reading “the books,” I obviously did a LOT of reflecting on my thoughts and behaviors.  One of the things I thought a lot about was exercise.  I used to do it.  A Lot.  I loved to go for a run and my body showed it!  Why was I so motivated then?  Why am I so NOT motivated now? One of the conclusions that I came to was that while Lonnie and I are really supportive of each other in trying to life healthy lives, we are also really good at sabotaging each other at the same time.  We like different types of exercise.  We like to exercise at different times.  But we felt like we were a TEAM …and teams stick together! I can’t even COUNT the times when I felt like going for a run, or a walk, but he was at work, so I decided to wait for him to come with me (TEAM!), and then it didn’t happen. ...

It's been probably a couple months since I began what I have now learned is called "intuitive eating."  So much has just become second nature and I still stop sometimes and stun myself thinking about how I "used to be." I have been sick with a nasty, nasty cold for about a week now, and many days my appetitite was just non-existent.  This will probably sound weird to you, but that has never happened.  In the past when I have been sick, I would spend the day on the couch snacking and vegging and watching tv.  I can clearly see now that I was eating to make myself feel better, and just would keep snacking because... 1. While snacking, the food tastes yummy and that DOES take my mind off the cold, i.e. "Makes me feel better."  2.  Once the snack is gone, I am reminded how crappy I feel... So... Have another snack, but a different one this time because now I need something sweet... Or salty... Or creamy... Because as we all know... Or in my case anyway, ju...