Pound that pavement

Roadrunner back in action
Today I cried in my staff meeting.  Like a moron.  One of my coworkers talked about her daughter turning 18 and their great relationship and how she knows she will move out soon, but since they are so close she will see her all the time. All I could think about was Jessi's impending departure.  I've actually been cool with it lately and thought I was over the hump.  I guess that's not a thing.  Typing this now I realize I am totally full of shit.  Just last night we were looking at upcoming movie trailers and I was deep breathing and fighting tears because Lonnie, Jessi, and I watch EVERY horror movie that comes out... even the dumb ones like Unfriended.  (OMG so... so.... bad)

Once I got home, I continued to feel "on the verge," then Sean and his shenanigans pissed me off and my brain just frantically racing that it needed something, Lonnie to come home? a glass of wine? candy? A cry myself to sleep then nap?  When SUDDENLY.... it hit me.


I NEED A GOOD HARD FUCKING RUN! 

I didn't even know what to do with that thought.  It's been YEARS since that happened.  Probably around divorce time.  Honestly I pushed it away initially because it was so weird and went upstairs to force myself to take a nap.  But once I got up there, I thought to myself, "How STUPID are you to FIGHT OFF the urge you are having to go for a run, dumbass?"

So I did it.  Obviously there was a lot of walking as well... but there was definite pavement pounding and IT. FELT. AWESOME!!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ISO home for my 50 extra pounds

Image
Excuse time is over.  There is ALWAYS an excuse to not eat right and exercise and let's get real here, NONE of them hold water. I have gained 50 fucking pounds this year.  50.  Fucking. Pounds.  That's a lot.  Like... a way lot.  Cielo's food truck took a Mother's Day shot of Jessi and I the other day and I didn't even want to tag myself in it because I look HORRIBLE!!  It's amazing how sometimes I can look in the mirror and convince myself that I don't..... I went shopping over the weekend because none of my clothes fit and it sucked.  A lot.  Like.... a way lot. I need to look at this is in a different way.  I am not taking care of myself.  I am living in the moment doing whatever I want, whenever I want.  It still feels like a party when Lonnie and I are spending time with each other and party to me = YAHOOOO eat whatever you want.  So I need to learn that happy does not equal party!   I have 5ks coming up.  I have clothes that I would lik
Read more

The small stuff

Image
The kids went off with Rick to the cottage on East Grand Lake that we all used to go to every year.  I am having "feelings."  Hate that shit.... lol!  I am happy with my life now and I wouldn't go back for a million dollars, but sometimes it's the small stuff I miss... like the week of preparing for camp and loading up the car until there wasn't one lick of space left.   Having in-laws to call and talk to and that call me to ask me stuff all the time too.   My air conditioned bedroom ;-) My old running route My sink and faucet.... damn they are the best sink and faucet ever Not having to go upstairs to go to the bathroom The awesome parties that we used to have and that have gone on now without me Anyway... you get the idea.  I mean obviously there is the "big stuff" too... like feeling bad that the kids have to live in two houses now and stuff... but it's really the little stuff that hits me now and then like a ton of bricks.  Or maybe
Read more

Snags and Moms and Babies and Love

Image
My weight loss endeavor hit a snag... as it always seems to... when I got sick last week and still have an irritating, lingering cough.  I haven't been able to exercise at all thanks to said cough, and I have eaten not-so-healthily--- out of laziness and for comfort.  Bad Colleen.  Oh well though.... I will never give up and I am counting the seconds until I can get up or lay down without a coughing fit so that I can start running.  I am super excited about the Color Me Rad 5k in August and I wanna be ready!! Mom is coming up to visit this weekend and I am excited to see her.  She is coming to meet her new grandson who I also can't wait to see now that I am feeling better!!  I love all the photos they have been posting on FB and Instagram.  He is just too cute!!! I love love.  The other night we were laying in bed and he was reading and I was all snuggled up in the crook of his arm with my head on his shoulder playing candy crush on my ipad (I have a serious addic
Read more