Constant Commentary

I was warned. Before my 4-day intensive residency program for my MSW program, my friend and co-worker, Emily, told me that it would get me all fired up and excited about social work.  I rolled my eyes and assured her that it would be painful and the longest 4 days of my life.  Emily is just good people. One of those positive, 'rah-rah- GO TEAM!!' people that we all wish we could be instead of the snarky, eye-rolling bitches that we mostly are. And by we, I obviously mean me ;-)  So Emily telling me that I was going to love it, really didn't hold a lot of water. Sorry, Emily.  lol Well damnit, she was right. Every class for those 4 days left me feeling like I need to DO SOMETHING!!  MAKE A CHANGE!! Opening day we had speakers talking about the importance of social work on the macro-level.  BIG CHANGES.... LAW changes.... POLICY changes... FIGHTING FOR CIVIL RIGHTS CHANGES!  I barely waited until the break before texting Jessi to tell her that I believe she is a social

Bellagio fountain about to explode!  One of a zillion free things to do in Vegas! This trip almost didn't happen for us.  We had some dooooozy car repair bills and actually looked into cancelling, but it was non-refundable-- and we already had our flight tickets to Dallas for my school program, so we needed somewhere to stay anyway.  We figured there was plenty of free stuff to see, even the hotels themselves are attractions.  So if all we could afford to do was walk around, and sit in our hotel and stare at each other (lol), we'd still be on VACATION!  We booked a cheap on Expedia at Excalibur, which included a flight on Spirit Air.  At the time, we didn't know about Spirit Air and their trick, tricky ways.   They even charge you for your carry on bags! So, sometimes Spirit LOOKS cheaper, but once you factor in bag costs, it’s possibly way more! In this case it was still way less as long as we kept it to one carry-on and a ‘personal item’ for each of us. Looooooo

Lonnie and I are in the midst of a weird trip.  I have to be in Dallas from August 18 thru 22nd to attend 4 day residency for school, so OF COURSE we decided to make a vacation out of it! Plan A: fly in to Dallas on the 13th and rent a car to drive down to Austin for a few days, then drive back to Dallas for my residency.  This plan was vacation/recon for our move in a few years; to see if Austin was a place we might like to live. This plan kind of got scrapped when Jessi moved to Richmond because now we want to stay on the east coast  (well…. We did at the time.  More on that later). When we decided we didn’t need to check out Austin for recon, we began researching other options and learned that Vegas and New Orleans would be cheaper to fly to add stay at than even just the car rental to Austin!  After  couple weeks of weighing the options  we booked Vegas. • It’s August and Dry heat>wet heat (also we figured, correctly, Vegas would be more of an indoor air conditioned tri

So dusty.....  Time to clean it up and face reality.  Today I read a post on Emily Nolan's blog about her decision to lose weight.  This decision is huge because she is a large part of the 'body-acceptance-love-the-skin-you're-in' movement.  I don't know her entire life history or anything, but I think she is a plus-sized model.  (Ok... maybe my mind just has her grouped in with Ashley Graham, Danika Brysha and assume she is also a model? ...but I DO know that she was doing something with Lululemon at some point, so I think I am right. ---hey...there is no research team here at Constant Commentary!)   The backlash on these 'not size 0' ladies when they lose weight is absolutely disgusting , but.... I get it.  I would never SAY the horrible things that I see people say on their insta-blog-tweet-fbs, but I get it. As I read her post today, I was annoyed at her talking about her focus on the numbers on the scale and at the same time trying to say that

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!! On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, "Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it."  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you. I had already been exercising, and trying (<--note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor (who I have never met)

Today marks 1 month since Jessi flew the coop.  Not-gonna-lie, that first week was ROUGH!  There was a lot of crying, sulking, pouting, moping.....  you get the idea.  Since then, I have been ok, we text every day, and she is still including me in knowing stuff about her life.  Less stuff.  But stuff.  This is what she needed, to get away from my influence, Maine, and whatever else, and to have a chance to figure out what she wants and who she is with no distractions.  So... during the day.  I am fine.  Yes, there are some songs that come on the radio or things I see that bring on that sting in the eyes.... but I recover quickly ;-)  Being focused on house stuff, weekend adventures, and fitness, has been a huge help to avoid emotional eating or wallowing in my own self-pity. The last goodbye tackle During the day. It's the weirdo nighttime shit that is disconcerting . A few nights a week I have Jessi dreams where I am crying and sobbing hysterically. The other night I d